I don't know what I'm doing.
I'm doing something. I'm trying to think and plan and find the "best" way. But in reality I'm just making up shit.
I quit sailing to become a writer. Very early on I realized that I can't expect to simply start writing novels and hope it pays enough. So I chose freelance writing as a happy compromise between my dream and reality, between idealism and practicality.
I said to myself, "Hey, at least you are earning money through writing. That's something. And you get to hone your craft and get paid for it! That's double something!!"
But now it's 4 years later and I'm still a freelance writer. I've definitely learned a lot and improved my writing but I'm nowhere near where I wanted to be. I still don't write daily. I put in two years into a blog on spirituality and now I don't feel spiritual anymore.
I have to improve my freelance career and learn to write more consistently and learn the tricks of self publishing. But things never go as planned. So I might as well enjoy a little while I'm at it.
Here's to life!