About twelve thousand and a few scores of days ago, on the seventh day of the third month of the nineteen hundred and eighty fourth year of our lord and savior, Jesus Christ, I graced the earth with my presence.
Jesus was like, "Shoot! I only missed him by about 2 centuries!"
And I was like, "Don't feel bad Jesus, Buddha missed me too!"
Thunder struck down from dark malevolent clouds as Zeus himself witnessed my birth. It was a dark and stormy night. Or maybe a bright and sunny day. I don't remember, it's been 33 years.
When I was born, the entire world revolved around me. Literally. I was the sun. The son of my parents, who appropriately named me Aditya, which is the name of the sun god in Hinduism.
The world was really small at that time. It only included the room I was in. Everything else didn't exist. Not even the universe.
The most interesting things in the universe were my own hands. And then, I noticed the faces of some other human beings who lived only to worship me.
As I grew up, I created the rest of the world by becoming aware of it. You are welcome.
Today I'm aware of many things and everything I am not aware of, doesn't exist.
I can't say coz it doesn't exist. The moment I say it's name, it will exist.
33 years and I've created so much. What an achievement. Incredible.
But for some reason, I've stopped creating new parts of the world now. I've been trying to reduce the world to my room once again. I guess I'm sick of the world. And, of course, if I burry my head in the sand, there's no climate change anymore!
I think this is a good time in my life, the world's life, for me to think about how much time I have left. And when I think about it, I realize that I don't really know. But for some reason I feel that I have exactly 33 years left.
Half of my life is gone and half remains. And so, I take myself into the changing room and give myself a pep talk for the second half. I'll try to do better. Maybe I can run up the left wing. Maybe cross it over to the right. But, most probably, the center is the best.
This post doesn't make sense anymore and neither does the world because I created it and if I don't make sense, neither does the world.
The bottom line is that I'm god. Or the son of god. Or the sun of god. Or the soon of good.
So, hence, therefore, 7th March is the first day of the year. Happy New Year guys!
Disclaimer: I'm not really God or his son. It's just an absurdist post about my mixed feelings about turning 33 years OLD. Put down the pitchforks!