What is A Story?

What is A Story?

What makes a story a story? Some writers think that whatever they think up of, is a story, and if the readers don't like it then they are just poopyheads! But maybe the readers don't connect to your story because it's not a story. Read on to find out how to make a story, a story.

He Was Finally Living

His head floated, no, levitated with the alcohol in his blood. The stereo played a popular song unknown to him. He tapped his foot to the rhythm anyway. The vocalist performed an emotionally charged solo over the whistle of the pressure cooker in the kitchen of the small restaurant. Fake grape vines, orange, red, and green leaves of plastic, hung from the wooden latticework on the ceiling of the rooftop bar. The brick wall pattern, exaggerated by the white lines separating the coarse red bricks, clashed disgustingly with the blue walls and the grimy green windows.

His spinach and cheese steamed dumplings were getting cold; his beer getting warm; but he continued to stare out the window; past the golden Plaster of Paris ornamentation of the Tibetan temple; past even the concrete block hotel with the chipped paint which was once white but had lost its virginity to years of pollution; and saw a glimpse of the blue evening sky through the shifting clouds.

He was finally living.

The Secret to Memorizing Multiplication Tables

The Secret to Memorizing Multiplication Tables

Exploring the stupidity of forcing children to memorize multiplication tables when they eventually figure out that multiplication is just addition. On an unrelated note, all psychology is just biology and all biology is just chemistry and all chemistry is just physics and all physics can be understood through math, so you must memorize those multiplication tables!

What's In a Name?

"Hey man wassup?" said the tall man.

"I'm fine, thank you." said the fat one.

"Oh, I thought you were Man Wassup." said the tall man.

"No. I'm Fine Thankyou." said the fat one.

"Mr. Thankyou, you look exactly like Mr. Wassup." said the tall man.

"But I'm not Man. I'm Fine." said the fat one.

"Are you Not Man or Fine Thankyou?" said the tall man.

"Fine Thankyou!" said the fat one.

"Oh okay. I'm so sorry. I get easily confused." said the tall man.

"It's okay So. Or should I call you Mr. Sorry?" said the fat one.

"You can call me So, Fine. It already seems like we are close friends, man." said the tall man.

"You might be friends with Man but you aren't friends with me, So." said the fat one.

"Fine." said the tall man.

"Yes So?" said the fat one.

"No! I mean it's okay." said the tall man.

"Where? He owes me money." said the fat one.

"Who?" said the tall man.

"Okay Verywell." said the fat one.

"Oh I see." said the tall man.

"I thought you were So." said the fat one.

"I am So! I just meant that I understand." said the tall man.

"Oh Okay." said the fat one.

"Verywell?" said the tall man.

"No no." said the fat one.

"No, there's no No here." said the tall man.

"What the hell are you talking about?" said the fat one.

"I'm so sorry." said the tall man.

"I already know that!" screamed the fat one.

"I mean I would like to apologize." said the tall man.

"She's sure a hottie." said the fat one.

"Who?" said the tall man.

"Miss To Apologize. I thought you said you like her." said the fat one.

"What the hell are you going on about?" said the tall man.

"I've never heard of Yougoing and Onabout. Couldn't tell you what they were." said the fat one.

"I'm sorry I talked to you." said the tall man.

"I'm fine and I talked to you too." said the fat one.

 

Author's Note: I'm so sorry you had to read that. I mean I'm So Sorry. That character is based entirely on me. Do you get it, Hadto Readthat?